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Fairytale Failures

November 3rd, 2016
(Day after the Cubs won the World Series) Ha! Right?! Crazy! Cannot believe it's true! Finally!


Dear Todd,

I decided to read to our daughter tonight. It has been a while. And she asked. So...

I went and climbed into bed with her and Petey. I had gone no further than two paragraphs when two boys appeared at the foot of the bed. It was like that scene in the Sound of Music where there's a thunder storm and all of a sudden everyone shows up and sings about their favorite things.  Only we did not sing.  We barely even read. Because shortly after the boys arrived, low-impact "dog wrestling" started.

"Don't push him off the bed on his back!" I loudly cautioned.

"We won't," they replied in unison, just catching enough breath from laughing to get it out.

"You will. And you are about to," I continued, "and you will be paying for the vet bill yourselves if he falls and hurts himself."

"Petey is like Sleeping Beauty," our eldest added.

"Cuz he's so tired?" I inquired.

"No. Well, yeah, that too, but he's like the one who would dig until he found that lump in his bed."

"That's not Sleeping Beauty. That's The Princess and the Pea."

"Yea!" he said laughing, "That one! The one with the pea."  He barely finished the phrase when all three kids busted out laughing because it could be Petey and the Pea or Petey and the Pee. And either way it was funny, because he was certain to do both---destroying every mattress until he found a small pea and then eat that too, and probably pee all over the mattresses as he went on his merry way.

Our youngest broke through the laughter, correcting our eldest.

"Sleeping Beauty was the one that slept in a glass case. Trapped in all her farts."

That was it. Tears streaming. Bodies rolling back and forth on the floor. Petey trying to lick every face he could find.

Finally, we quieted down and I cracked open Ghosts of Tupelo Landing to attempt to read again.

But before I started I added,

"No, that was Snow White."

And we all fell apart all over again. Brother's Grimm and Disney would be proud.

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