Dear Todd (We have a Teenager)

November 13th, 2017 Dear Todd, Sometimes when we talk       I picture you on fire                   Like in a cartoon           ***Mental note..save for potential vow renewal.

November 11th, 2017 Dear Todd, It is with great trepidation that I announce the Return of Daniel Google or Daniel Google 2.0—now with voice activated response. If you recall…Daniel Google came to us approximately 5 years ago when we were on the road, and began asking questions like, “I wonder if this restaurant is open?” Or “Do you think this road goes through?” And a small, confident voice rang out from the back seat with all the answers. “I’m pretty sure they are closed on Mondays,” or “It should go through.” Thus as frustration built, and “Google” kept getting it wrong, we would start to cry out, in jest, “DAMN YOU GOOGLE!” But then realized that is probably among the top 10 things to not do as a parent, and so we changed “Damn You” to “Daniel” and thus our child, Daniel Google, was born. Now, just as there have been advancements in Daniel Google’s age, technology did not stand still either, so we now are able to use Daniel Google much more like “Alexa.” This has bec...

November 9, 2017 Dear Todd,  So as you know, since I was not home at the time, (ahem) the crossbow tooth-launch was a huge success. Which meant, the tooth fairy had to come. However, a rush from such an activity—the adrenaline, the thrill of success cannot be quelled by “Hey it’s 10 o’clock. Get to bed.” And I cannot stay awake past 10:15pm anymore. Apparently. So, it looked to be a recipe for huge TF failure. (“Tooth Fairy”) So, I was pleasantly surprised to be woken up by the dog at 2:30am—perfect fairy time. And as I tiptoed into our youngest’s bedroom, I was reminded, once again, that I am my own worst enemy. Days earlier I came up with the brilliant idea to place a “displaced futon mattress ” under his bunk/desk. It made an excellent little reading nook and I felt pretty good about myself. It just fit. Wedged up against his desk chair. Perpendicular to his upper bunk, with a little cubby under the desk. What this meant for the “not so small,” ...

November 8th, 2017 Dear Todd, Communication with our eldest has reached Egyptian Proportions. Meaning everything is a 👍 or a 😳 or a 🤔🙄😝🙌🏻😜🤣😘 And oftentimes its just an animated gif of shock or exhaustion. It’s fine. I find that it doesn’t leave room for any “tone” or miscommunication. Though he may require speech therapy at some point or some sort of “jaw fitness” class due to the lack of oral sounds emitting from his body. In news from the other side of the hallway...our youngest just went into his room with floss tied around his loose tooth. The other end of the string is attached to an arrow that he has loaded in his crossbow. 😬😳

November 1st, 2017 Dear Todd, We are officially back in the madness of incomplete conversations mixed with the bombardment of information---you know...just like the toddler years. Only the information we are receiving now is much more than an introduction to stuffed animals "Chi Chi and Hearty," or a request to "Come here" or simply a declaration like "Poop!" For example...this afternoon...picture a house with 3 people ranging from 55"-61". They move throughout the space sometimes talking when near, sometimes commenting randomly from afar. After entering through the garage I was met by our youngest--almost nose to nose. J: Mom! Me: Yup? (Middle interjects) R:Hey, I was going to ask her something first. J: I didn't know that. R: Yes, you did because I said, when Mommy comes in I'm going to ask her about my homework. J: Well, I'm asking her something and then you can. (I wanted to say, actually nobody is asking me anythi...