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Brace Yourself

October 26th, 2016

Dear Todd,

I'm thinking of going back to school. Seeking a Master's in Counting Cards. I figure it's gotta be a two year program at most, and then I can go straight to Vegas and apply my degree.

Where this sudden interest in such a degree you may ask? Well, I spent today at the Orthodontist---as most people tend to do on a sunny, fall Wednesday. And as you may remember we have not one, not two, but 3 children. Three children with f'd up teeth to be exact. Don't get me wrong, the x-rays were a solid source of entertainment, but not quite worth the price of admission. Basically, we could either have 2 tickets (down behind homeplate) to the World Series, or save our children's teeth.


What I learned today at the Ortho 
by Robin Faris

Our youngest is half shark. Shocker.  Almost all of his adult teeth are pushing down in the wrong direction on top of his babies. Now, I'm thinking, 'down' is the right direction. But apparently they have designated spots and, according to the x-ray, these little buggers failed musical chairs.

Our middle, has a wisdom tooth where her 12yr molar is supposed to be. Good news is, she has no 12 year molar, and no other wisdom teeth, so...we'll just let her tooth, aka "Frankie" after Frank Abagnale Jr. pretend he's a molar. But in the meantime, her bite is all off to the side, and her top teeth are pushing out, and her bottom jaw line is withdrawn and she is certain to be mistaken for Joseph (John) Merrick's long, lost child if we don't act now.

Our eldest needs his upper pallet widened and the bottom is getting crowded, and the top is a little ahead of itself--much like he is sometimes.

So....yeah.

All I know is that once this is all done, they better f'n smile all the f'n time. All. The. Time.

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