October 4th, 2016
Dear Todd,
As the household proclaimed "linear thinker," I have a math problem for you. Or the world's longest run-on sentence...
If a woman is awoken at 5:15am by a nightmare of a toxic/sewage smelling snake sliding up the side of her body rapidly encroaching on her breathing, and slowly opens her eyes to look around so as not to startle the snake, only to find that the snake is a pair of size 4 male feet and the toxcitiy is coming from the 70lb farting dog in the bed and thus she slides out discreetly thumping onto the floor and army crawling downstairs as to not disturb anyone else in an attempt to have a cup of coffee by herself only to be followed by the farting dog that proceeds to vomit a 32inch diameter puddle on the living room rug, waking the size 4 feet that rapidly descend to request a peach for breakfast. The sound of the youngest running down the stairs wakes the oldest (who has never woken up on his own before 7am unless it was a Sunday) who energetically begins to play the granite countertop as if it were a bongo drum, while the youngest drops a gummy vitamin down his pants and dramtically farts to shoot it out his leg. Just then our daughter comes down, smiley and sweet and asks whose viatmins are on the counter. The boys quickly, scramble to make sure she gets the non-pants-leg viatmin only to realize that they made a "mistake" after she ate it.
2 part question:
Did songs of joy and love and happiness ensue after our daughter quote, "Ate fart?"
And what time does the woman have to wake up to have a cup of coffee by herself?
Dear Todd,
As the household proclaimed "linear thinker," I have a math problem for you. Or the world's longest run-on sentence...
If a woman is awoken at 5:15am by a nightmare of a toxic/sewage smelling snake sliding up the side of her body rapidly encroaching on her breathing, and slowly opens her eyes to look around so as not to startle the snake, only to find that the snake is a pair of size 4 male feet and the toxcitiy is coming from the 70lb farting dog in the bed and thus she slides out discreetly thumping onto the floor and army crawling downstairs as to not disturb anyone else in an attempt to have a cup of coffee by herself only to be followed by the farting dog that proceeds to vomit a 32inch diameter puddle on the living room rug, waking the size 4 feet that rapidly descend to request a peach for breakfast. The sound of the youngest running down the stairs wakes the oldest (who has never woken up on his own before 7am unless it was a Sunday) who energetically begins to play the granite countertop as if it were a bongo drum, while the youngest drops a gummy vitamin down his pants and dramtically farts to shoot it out his leg. Just then our daughter comes down, smiley and sweet and asks whose viatmins are on the counter. The boys quickly, scramble to make sure she gets the non-pants-leg viatmin only to realize that they made a "mistake" after she ate it.
2 part question:
Did songs of joy and love and happiness ensue after our daughter quote, "Ate fart?"
And what time does the woman have to wake up to have a cup of coffee by herself?
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